To Love, Honor and Whatever
by wildsky
Summary: No longer a oneshot. A series of ML ficlets with Alec throwing his two cents in.
1. To Love, Honor and Whatever

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em (unless they're originals). Please don't sue me. It's **_**so**_** not worth it.**

**A/N: **This is ML and total stupidity. Just a heads up.

**TO LOVE, HONOR AND WHATEVER**

**Fogle Towers**

"No."

"Max –"

"I said no, Logan."

The brunette folded her arms, chin held high as she stared him down, five-feet-and-six-inches of irritated X5 female gearing up for a fight. Logan sighed and slipped off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"It's a family tradition."

"So is making big bucks off hoverdrones and you broke that one," Max pointed out. "I'm not doing it."

"Is it really that big a deal?" Logan asked, regarding her with a hint of exasperation.

"Yeah or you'd have stopped arguing by now," Max pointed out. "Just change it. It's one line."

"Yeah, Logie, it's one line," Alec echoed, snickering from the next room where they'd left him so they could talk.

"Not helping, Alec," Logan intoned.

"Not helping _you_, you mean," Max huffed. "Look, Logan, I'll do the whole wedding thing. I'll do the dress and the veil. I'll even promise to love and honour but no way am I promising to 'obey'. They threw that out with foot binding."

"It's not about the word, Max," Logan told her, trying to find the right way to explain. "It's not about me wanting you to do everything I say."

"Then what is it about?" Max asked, her tone shifting from defiant to curious.

"Trust," Logan replied and Max's eyebrow quirked upwards.

"How do you figure that?" she said with a hint of challenge.

"We've already established that I can't order you around and how often do you hear me try anyway? I ask for your help, Max. I don't command it unless there's a damn good reason."

Max seemed to relax a little bit, her expression softening slightly.

"It's about trusting that on the once-in-a-blue moon occasion that I do give an order, it's for a damn good reason. In a combat situation, if you give an order, I'll follow it because I know you have the training and experience to justify telling me what to do. I don't promise to like it but I'll do it."

"So you're saying I should promise to obey you on the proviso that it's an extreme situation and you know better than me how to handle it," Max summarized, still not looking convinced.

"That sounds really bad, doesn't it?" Logan grimaced, reminding himself yet again that he wasn't dealing with your run-in-the-mill civilian.

"Uhuh," Max agreed with a nod. "How about we just cut the macho crap? I'm not asking you to promise to obey me or anything."

"Except when you're right," Logan put in.

"Exactly."

It was Logan's turn to kink an eyebrow at her and Max made a face, realizing she'd been caught.

"I'm still not saying it," she stated firmly. "You can either take it out as well or deal with the fact that my vows are a few syllables shorter than yours."

"This is the stupidest argument ever," Alec chimed in from the other room, sounding thoroughly amused.

"Nobody asked you," Max huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe someone oughta," the X5 male snorted.

Logan met Max's eyes and conceded defeat. "He's right, you know," he said quietly, hoping Alec wouldn't pick up on the fact that someone was agreeing with him.

"Ha! Told you," Alec crowed.

"Will you stop eavesdropping?" Max shot back, frowning at the partition.

"Well, I can entertain myself with the priceless art in this place if that's what you'd prefer," Alec drawled slyly.

"No!" Max and Logan cried out in unison and the sound of Alec chuckling filtered back to them.

"You guys are so easy. Would you just agree to be disobedient already? At least that way you're being realistic."

"You've made your point, Alec," Logan replied, shaking his head.

"Good. Now hurry up. We've got a heist to plan."

"Why were you even insisting on that in the first place?" Max asked, flopping down on the couch.

"I wasn't insisting but you just dismissed it out of hand," Logan told her.

"What'd you expect? You're talking to a girl who ran out on her gene-splicing military command at the age of nine. Bucking authority is kinda my trademark."

"I thought the words 'shut up' were your trademark," Alec interjected.

"No, that'd be smacking you upside the head, smart ass. Keep up," Max replied without missing a beat before turning her attention back to her fiancé. "You got offended because I didn't think it over for five minutes? Logan, I know you've got some old-fashioned ideas about being a gentleman but I'm no lady –"

"Amen to that," Alec agreed.

"One second," Max muttered, getting to her feet and stalking into the other room.

"Ow!" Alec yelped. "Hey!"

"Behave," Max admonished him smartly and stepped back through the door. "Anyway, it just isn't me. If you know a single woman born after nineteen-fifty who'll volunteer to keep that custom alive, maybe you should marry her."

"Like I said, Max, those vows are a Cale family tradition. Every generation has gotten married using them for the last century. That's the only reason I even brought it up."

"Well, if you're going for family rituals, maybe Zack oughta bring the sibs and we can bivouac on the church lawn," Max deadpanned.

"She does look good in mud," Alec cheerfully added.

"How the hell would you know?" Logan demanded.

"Aw, Maxie, don't tell me Logan never heard the story about that undercover job where you got dragged into the ring with those female mud-wrestlers –"

"He has now, idiot," Max growled, throwing an irritated look over her shoulder at her fellow transgenic, who gave her an innocent look.

"Mud wrestlers?" Logan asked, managing to refrain from smiling at his bride-to-be. He knew Max hated getting dirty. She'd do it if it was required but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"That was his fault," Max said darkly.

"And what a wonderful mishap it was," Alec replied smugly.

Even Logan couldn't help laughing a little at that. The scene that had been painted for him was all too easy to imagine. Max glared at him, not at all amused, and Logan made a concerted effort to get himself back under control.

"Sorry," he murmured and Max seemed somewhat mollified.

"You're so whipped," Alec said merrily, echoing the sentiment he'd expressed in the sewers months earlier.

Max looked startled, then outraged. "He is not!"

"What, the man can't answer for himself? He was willing to put the word 'obey' in his vows. He's whipped."

"I am not whipped," Logan said firmly, like a parent addressing an errant teenager.

"You're acting like you're seven," Max pointed out to the younger man.

"I'm embracing my inner child, Max," Alec replied dramatically. "You should try it. You need more laughter in your life."

"I have plenty of laughter," Max protested.

"Not if those little frown lines between your eyes are any indication."

"Hey!"

"Max." Logan held up a hand, forestalling an outburst. "He's just trying to get attention."

"Behold my success," Alec chortled.

"I wish _he'd_ learn to obey," Max growled, glowering at the man she'd freed.

"Fine, I'll make you a deal. I'll obey if you'll be quiet," Alec challenged her and Max's lips thinned.

"Max?" Logan prompted her.

"I'm thinking."

"She can't do it," Alec gloated.

"Can so!"

"Now who's seven?"

Max made a face in disgust but shut her mouth and settled for glaring in Alec's direction.

"See?" They could hear Alec grinning as he spoke. "She does obey."

"_Alec!_"


	2. Hello Kitty

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em (unless they're originals). Please don't sue me. It's **_**so**_** not worth it.**

**HELLO KITTY**

**Fogle Towers**

"_Logan!_"

The high-pitched screech that emanated from the bathroom made both men loitering in the living room start, though Alec more from the assault on his sensitive hearing than any real surprise. The X5 hissed, automatically raising his hands to cover his ears.

"Max?" Logan was already striding down the corridor towards the source of the noise. She'd barricaded herself in there with Original Cindy over an hour before after ditching work in a panic. "Max, what's wrong?"

"She'll be right out, Logan," Cindy called out, her voice softening as she returned her attention to her friend. "Just breathe, boo…"

The sliding door was violently thrown aside and Logan Cale found himself face-to-face with a creature that at any other time might have passed for Max Guevara. What greeted him in her place was a powder-keg of fury whose fuse had just been lit.

"What's wrong?" Max echoed, her voice rising yet again as she advanced on him and Logan started backing his way down the hallway, his hands help up to placate her. "Are you kidding me?"

"Yellin' at the man ain't gonna help none," Cindy cautioned the girl, pacing along beside her.

"Max, tell me what's going on," Logan said as calmly as he could as they finally reached the living room.

"_These_ are what's going on!" Max snapped, throwing a handful of small white objects the size of paddle-pop sticks at his chest. Logan only managed to catch hold of one, the rest clattering onto the floor. He stared down at the plastic object in his hand, his eyes widening.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked, glancing from the test to the brunette and back again.

"You'd better pray that this is some side-effect of my screwed-up genetics," Max snarled, snatching the offending item back as Logan hunkered down to inspect the ones that were scattered on the ground.

"Uh… Logan, you do realize that she peed on those, right?" Alec felt obliged to point out.

"Shut up!" Max shrieked, making Alec wince all over again.

"Hey, take it easy!" Alec protested, moving towards the windows. "It's not my fault you got knocked up."

"Oh my God," Max whimpered, all the anger draining out of her so fast that she seemed to crumple inwardly and Cindy gave her a gentle push towards the sofa. She sank down onto it with Cindy beside her and let her head fall into her hands. "This isn't happening…"

"Max." Pregnancy tests in hand, Logan moved around to sit on the coffee table so he was position directly in front of her. "Max, this is going to be okay. People have babies every day." He reached out to touch her cheek, urging her to look at him. "This is a good thing."

"How is this a good thing?" Max demanded miserably, brown eyes wide with anxiety. "How many cases of transgenic pregnancy have you dealt with, huh? Cause I'm coming up with a big, fat zero!"

"Hello? Breeding females?" Alec chimed in. "You think Renfro had the X5s at it like rabbits out of the goodness of her heart?"

"And how many of those breeding females did you monitor throughout the pregnancy?" Max shot back. "Didn't help with that side of things, did you? No, all you had to do was get off and walk out!"

"Yeah and I didn't even get to do that after you kicked me clear across the room," Alec reminded her. "Keep your facts straight."

"Alec," Cindy cautioned him, "logic ain't got no place in this here conversation."

"Max." Logan's calm tone reclaimed her attention, bringing her firmly back to the issue at hand. "Is it being pregnant that's scaring you or the genetic side of things?"

"Both," she exclaimed. "I don't know anything about being a mother and what if something's wrong? Who knows what the animal DNA could do to this kid?"

"Or possibly kids," Alec mused.

"What?" Max's gaze jerked over to Alec, widening with fright. "Why are you using plurals?"

Both Logan and Cindy were glaring daggers at him and Alec knew he'd well and truly put his foot in his mouth. But it was too late to backtrack. Max was unlikely to let it go.

"Well… uh," Alec cleared his throat awkwardly. "With the cat DNA, you never know. You might end up having…"

"Having what?" Max hissed, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"A litter," Alec said, grimacing as he trailed off.

It shouldn't have been possible for Max's eyes to get any bigger but she managed it, her jaw dropping as she stared at him in rising horror.

"A _litter_?" she breathed, almost choking on the words.

"Alec, please stop helping me," Logan said, throwing a stern look at the X5 male, who had the grace to look sheepish. "Max, listen to me. We talked about this possibility, remember? It's not the end of the world."

"But a litter?" she almost sobbed. "What if we end up with five kids at once?"

"Then we'll have five kids," Logan shrugged. "I wouldn't mind."

"And you know Original Cindy's got your back," the other woman assured her. "Ain't nothin' we can't handle, sugah, but right now you need to calm down."

"I think the first step is to go see Sam Carr," Logan decided, taking Max's trembling hands in his own. "We'll get this confirmed and then we'll worry about the rest, all right?"

Max nodded mutely, still looking terrified.

"Are you sure a doctor's such a good idea?" Alec asked, voicing the reasonable question considering Max's transgenic status.

"Sam knows all about Max," Logan informed him. "We trust him."

"No, I was just wondering if a veterinarian might be a better choice."

Alec barely managed to duck before the priceless vase smashed against the wall where his head had been a scant moment before.


End file.
